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Back in the day we used to pass a quaint little church not far from us on our way to our home church at the time. They didn’t seem flashy or over the top nor old school and set in their ways. Occasional advertisements of VBS or a special series let us know they weren’t completely dead. It seemed like it was worth a shot, so i managed to find the website via google. Their web presence matched their physical representation: clean design with updated content, but nothing showy or screaming “we’re the best church ever!” Of all the possibilities, this had the most promise so far.

We arrived at the orange-brick building to an onslaught of “who are you here for?” questions and looks that said “we know you’re a visitor, but that doesn’t surprise us this week, so we’ll smile, but no need to make a big deal about it.” … Ah, yes… The week when family and friends from all over show up to your local church to partake in a ritual found in churches all across the nation: Graduation sunday.

Have I told you yet that there is usually ZERO point in visiting a church on a special service? Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter, Christmas, and Graduation Sunday… What is the point? Thankfully there were only two students graduating and the pastor did his normal thing, so I think we got a good taste of what to expect.

Everything edged on “decent” on our mental checklist, wavering slightly to one side or the other. Worship and the communion on the high side, kids program and preaching on the low side, atmosphere, friendliness, and everything else right in the middle. And lets rename this “Church of the Sons of the Nephilim” … seriously, i’ve never seen so many tall people in my life!

We planned on going back, but excuses kept coming up, then came vacation and father’s day and we found ourselves nearly a month removed from going to any church. The overall “average” impression of the church coupled with general apathy doesn’t preclude another visit to the church in the near future. Which brings us to Church 4, which we visited last week… but that’s for a new post at some point soon…

thanks for listening…

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Category : Church, Empyreal, Family, Sundays

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We had another church picked out with an amazing location… only about 2 blocks from our house! Wouldn’t that be great! So I checked out the website on Saturday night and found a few snippets of the message… I listened to about five minutes of it and it was evident that this was not the place for us…

The next morning, we headed to another church that was close by. We had actually been to the church several times before, but never for a service. For a while, they held concerts showcasing local bands (with the occasional national act) every weekend. We knew a little history of the church and knew the basics of what to expect. I honestly did not think it would be a match for us, but since we had to change our plans last minute it was at least worth a shot.

The people were much more welcoming and even talkative at times! They were not shocked at having visitors and they handled themselves nicely. We did feel a bit under-dressed ( i wear jeans and a casual button-down un-tucked every Sunday), but no one made mention of it. The first thing that we really enjoyed is the pre-service worship. About 5 minutes before service officially started, the worship leader took his spot at his keyboard and just started playing / improvising. It was nice. Slowly the rest of the band made their way to the stage… all 13 of them (4 singers, 2 percussionist, 2 guitars, 1 additional keyboardist, 1 upright bass, 1 electric bass, 1 drummer +leader = 13). It was a strange dynamic/ratio since only about 25 people found there way into the auditorium at the start and maybe 35-40 by the end of worship.

The worship experience exceeded typical Charismatic standards, all it lacked was a prophet with a SHOFAR (see pic). The set went on for a long time and there was plenty of room for “flowing in the Spirit” … i.e. - Extending songs far longer than necessary and improving lots of verses. A few older youth and younger adults congregated on the far side of the auditorium and danced elegantly as to make any born and bred charismatic woman proud… my legs started hurting…

The message was… i have no idea. I don’t remember what it was about. Something in psalms and eagles. But it was very energetic. The music team still hadn’t stopped yet, but at least we were sitting.

There really isn’t much else to say nor much else we needed to see. We saw no signs of the majority of things we are looking for… Family, Community, Missions focus were not evident on first visit; nor was there any inkling of a discipleship / Christian education program. They may very well have had them, but nothing was apparent.

Despite the length of the music portion, we enjoyed being a part of a worship set where at least people seemed interested. But the atmosphere, comfort level, and over-the-top spiritualism is not where we want to be nor where we want to raise our kids. Dionna put it best as soon as we were back at the car: “Just because we know that a place isn’t right for us doesn’t mean I didn’t get anything out of it. I really needed the worship [music] that we got today, but there’s no need for us to come back.”

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Category : Church, Culture, Empyreal, Family, Sundays

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(As i wrote today I couldn’t help but feel it would seem as if I was writing a review or critique of a church, which doesn’t exactly leave a good taste in my mouth. However, I am hoping to invite you along and delve into the same conversations we’d have if you joined us physically at these churches. Please feel free to ask specific questions, clarify, or call me stupid throughout this process.)

For our first church, we decided to check out a nearby Bible Church referred to us by our bro-in-law. He had only visited and shared his testimony during a youth service, but noticed several things he liked about the small, friendly church. Seeing as we had just left a Bible Church and agreed with the theological foundation they are built on, we thought it was a good place to start.

What we didn’t know is that our previous Bible Church is quite different from the majority of Bible Churches, but i’m not sure who found themselves more in shock: us at the heavy traditional style influence? or the congregation at the fact that visitors walked through the door? … Seriously… it was like that. It was impossible for the members to hide their disbelief. Needless to say, it was very uncomfortable being stared at as if we just crawled out of a swamp.

It wasn’t that we stood out in our attire (it was a fairly casual setting), we were just new. After the initial shock, the atmosphere was nice, and though i wouldn’t say it was necessarily “warm,” the opening experience was not a deal breaker.

The kids program for the main hour was non-existent, so the girls stayed with us. They do have a Sunday School program for children, but as a rule we only go to the main service the first time at a church. Tristen managed nicely, but Mac started getting restless about half way through. While they did have a place for younger children Mac’s age to go, Mac wasn’t terribly interested (a theme we’ve repeatedly encountered). Dionna did get a chance to watch the young’ens in action and she was a bit concerned when two of the toddlers made their way into the parking lot without the workers noticing… (yikes!). But hey, stuff happens.

The service as a whole was tough to sort through because a few internal changes influenced the mood. A long time member passed away the previous week, and this particular Sunday was also the last for a leader who was going on to a different ministry. It was nice to see how the pastor and congregation handled the changes.

But there was a lot of good to be had at this small church. They had a wall dedicated to the missionaries they supported… Such a small church providing financial and spiritual support to four different sets of missionaries is awesome! And I recognized the pastor as the guy who I always saw at Chick Fil A on Saturday morning’s where I also meet with some friends of mine, subtly letting me know that discipleship was on the radar and consistency existed at least in his mind. I also really liked the Pastor’s down to earth approach to the message, which was filled with “I don’t knows” … “here’s some alternate views” and a general tone of “lets discover this together.”

It was also encouraging to see the people as a whole treating each other as one big happy family, despite the difficult times they seemed to be facing… But herein also lies one of the most difficult things about this particular church… They were so close knit that it would take a lot of networking, conversations, and nods of approval before we would feel like this was home. Yes, I know everywhere we visit we will feel like outsiders; it’s natural when trying something new, but there is a difference between feeling like outsiders and being treated like outsiders.

At the end of the day, I have no doubt that the people would love us and let us in to the circle, but “Church 1″ fails to manifest the type of outward faith that I want our family to exude.

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Category : Church, Empyreal, Enabling, Family, Sundays

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With the diverse backgrounds and subsequent experiences, you’d think it would be difficult for us to agree on what is important. Thankfully we’re both level headed and see the flaws in our own background as well as the positive aspects.

I know that the Charismatic scene is not something that makes sense to most people and it often confuses emotional experience with foundational relationship (man do i have some stories, though!). She knows that CoC as a whole is restrictive relationally and a breeding ground for quiet judgmentalism. Both of us see how full of vigor cultural-relevant churches are when it comes to production, but how deflated they can become in the areas of discipleship and strong biblical teaching (ouch).

Jonathan rightly states: “choose not because of labels or styles, but be obedient to His call, for He has a local body that will grow you and that you will help grow.” …

And this is what we’ve been open to and hoping for. Ideally, I would love a place that is modern in style and solid in teaching that is also close to our home so “community” is tangible. In such a highly concentrated area as Garland/DFW, a church even 15 shorts minutes away is a completely different community… standard of living, demographics, everything.

So, this is our checklist of sorts… unofficial and fluid. We don’t put specific numerical values to these or whatever, we just kinda take mental notes or jot down thoughts on the provided bulletin. Most of these cannot be evaluated after one visit or one month of visits, but there are always clues inside the building if you have CSI skills like me. In Alpha Order…

Atmosphere - Am I comfortable? Would the average joe off the street be comfortable? This one is tricky because its not just how it looks, but how people act, the goings on from the pulpit and stage, the literature, the kids area, and everything.

Community Oriented - Is the church going to the community or expecting the community to come to them? Are their outreaches effective in sharing the Love of God or simply clever marketing?

Discipleship/Mentorship - Does it exist? is it payed lip service or is there something legit about it? Is there something in place that will enable (haven’t used that word in a while) others to become who God intends us to be? Is there freedom in the general membership to take initiative and enable others for His service?

Family Oriented - Usually tough to tell after one visit. Are the kid-workers responsible and pleasing? What do my children think after service? Can they remember anything? Does the handout/literature lend to the idea that family is important or is the youth/children’s ministry basically ignored? Does the youth section (c’mon every church has one) seem alive and friendly? or bored? From experience, the more youth feel they are a part of the church as a whole, the more lively they are in “big” service (there’s some CSI skills for you)…

Missions Oriented - Similar to discipleship, is it lip service or legit? Can i find any literature on their missions focus or do i have to search high and low? Does the speaker ever even mention anything remotely missions related? Do they financially support any missionaries, home or abroad?

Preaching - Is it style over substance? Is it thought out or thrown together? Does the Spirit change direction so often in one sermon that you’d think He’s got a split personality (okay, thats a charismatic reference for you…)? Does it bring solid truth in a convicting, encouraging, and challenging way, or does relevancy take precedent over growth?

Theological Foundation - This is where it gets difficult and where denominations become an issue. For the most part, I adhere to the now famous “In essentials- unity; in non-essentials - liberty; in all things, love” but the question becomes “what is essential and what is not?” Its a difficult question to answer. While some would argue only that which directly effects your salvation is essential, that which directly effects salvation is greatly debated! Theological foundation is by far the most difficult piece to gauge after a visit or a month simply because there is so much that goes into the discussion.

Worship Music - I love all sorts of music and worship, so its less about style and more about authenticity, which is hard to judge. Does it seem thrown together and haphazard? Is it showy? Does the production aspect overwhelm the spiritual aspect? Is it restricted to music or are alternative worship elements available (communion, etc)?

So I think that pretty much sums it up, but since its fluid sometimes we think of other things. Yeah, it all sounds “duh” obvious, but if we’re honest I think most people find a church that stirs them emotionally and immediately fits their personality, then they make everything else fit into their justification. What doesn’t fit, they write off as a non-essential. And thats alright, it works for some, but not for us. I really want the next church that we call home to become our home for a long time. I’m not into switching churches every few years… Notice I didn’t mention anything about finances, tithes or offerings… i think someone once said something to the effect of “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” The money will show itself (eventually), and thus show me the heart of the church.

I’ve got 4.5 churches to catch you up on, so i’ll start this afternoon and go through Friday, then add churches as we visit more.

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Category : Church, Empyreal, Family, Pastoral, Sundays

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It’s been eleven Sunday’s since we left our last church. The hunt for a new one has been less than satisfactory. Of course, in those eleven weeks, we’ve experienced only 5 churches and skipped a service all together a grand total of seven weeks (7+5=12 weeks, but one of the churches we ‘experienced’ was online, which we quickly eliminated from our list of candidates. It was kinda like Huckaby… nice to think about but never really had a chance anyway ).

So I thought this week I’d briefly catch you up on our progress. I will not mention church names, nor the pastor’s name, but I will let you know the pros and cons for each in order of the places we have visited. But first, today lets look at a little background on our upbringing as this will play a role in our church hunt.

Jeremy: From my earliest memories of church until my 19th year I attended non-denomination charismatic churches. I know saying “charismatic” leads to some very strong stereotypes: Speaking in tongues, odd dancing, random outbursts of people talking in the middle of worship, long services, people falling, pastors blowing, and just flat out weirdness. In a word: “Correct” … Not that I partook in all or agreed with all; in fact, most of it annoyed me. I know from the outside looking in, it seems so out of whack and out of touch with reality. Sometimes… nay… a lot of times it is, but there are a plethora of good solid biblical truths that I learned from being in that environment that I have not seen / heard much of since I left the whole charismatic scene.

Since then, I have been a part of modern, edgy, culturally relevant churches.

Dionna: She grew up Church of Christ and was so until we started dating. Hard Core Traditional CoC. We’re talking no instruments, conservative, letter of the law type of people. In the early part of the movement, the CoC caught a lot of flack for claiming they were the only true Church. Dionna thought that was preposterous until I showed it to her in some literature that was still available to read in one of their classrooms (for the record, the CoC does not hold that view anymore). She was Bible Quiz champion like 5 years in a row or something on a national level, she thought the “Joy Bus” was something every Christian should know about, and her mom was not a fan of me for the sole reason that i was not CoC. But BY FAR the CoC people are the nicest group of Christians I have been around.

Since then Dionna has traveled in the same circles as I have, a few years of charismatic, followed by the culturally-relevant focused churches.

I don’t want to make this entry too long, so I will stop here. Later today or tomorrow I’ll talk about what we’re looking for in a Church, what has brought us to this point, etc.

Until then, i’m curious who else out there is in a completely different environment than their original church upbringing… anybody? (don’t leave me hanging looking like a numskull with zero comments!).

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Category : Church, Empyreal, Family

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Mac (3yr old) has this new game she likes to play with me. It doesn’t have a name yet, so we’ll call it “Laughter All Around at the Expense of Daddy” It’s great fun! It all started in Branson. We were eating hotdogs and chips and started talking about how good everything was (because i love me some hotdogs and chips). I’m trying to instill good healthy wisdom into my kids despite my current pre-disposition to eat only junk food:

Me: “yes, they are great but we should only eat junk food every now and then or you’ll get fat like daddy.”
Mac: “I want to be fat like daddy!”
Me: “It’s not good to be fat like daddy”
Mac: “But its funny!” (laughter all around at the expense of daddy)

And thats how it started. Now she (and occasionally Tristen (8 yrs)) will walk around and stick her stomach out as far as she can “I’m fat like daddy!” ((laughter all around at the expense of daddy) … or when she’s eating she say something about eating a lot because she “wants to be fat like daddy!” (laughter all around at the expense of daddy) … She laughs at it, that evil little sinister three year old!

Yesterday was the latest installment:

Mommy: “Mr. Incredible got fat.” (we’ve seen the movie 1.3 million times but we were just dialogging for the kdis)
Me and Tristen: “Yeah he did”
Mac: (sheepish smile quickly transformed to an outburst of laughing) “FAT LIKE DADDY!”

*sigh* …. (laughter all around at the expense of daddy)

well, I did work out last night (yes, on my heavy bag among other things) and I’m eating much better since we got back from vacation. But if mac keeps it up much longer, i may have to check myself into a clinic

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Category : Family, Fatness, Me Dang It!

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I know… I’m awesome… just soak it in, guys… soak it in …

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Category : Eh... Whatever, Me Dang It!

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First off… Congrats to Jonathan and Meredith on their new baby boy!

Now, enjoy the slideshow of Branson 2008 (click to view larger, nicer versions):

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Category : Family, Friends, Photos, Vacation

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I know i know, it’s technically not even summer yet (June 21st, i think), but I can’t think that way. I’m 27 years old, but i still see summer as a break of sorts, especially now that I’m back in school. I tend to check out mentally, focus on nothing but entertaining myself or my kids, which is needed from time to time… But i know my history, and even before vacation I could sense that I was slacking… So i need to get back on the proverbial saddle and get to trekking along again… on the docket (in random order as they come to my mind):

1) Exercise: This goes without saying, doesn’t it? i mean… i’m fat… and don’t want to be… One of the things I’ve always wanted in this area is a Heavy Bag/stand… I got it for Birthday/Father’s Day. We set it up the week before we left and I used it a couple of times. Had a lot of fun. If you get a nice rhythm going, using your whole body, it’s a pretty good balanced workout in and of itself… strength and cardio… So i know i’ve never had any good excuses, but really, now i’m out completely.

2) Personal Journaling: Blogging is personal, but there’s far too much insanity to release to the world. Journaling is a good practice, but its tough for me to keep it up.  Even once a week would benefit.

3) Reading: I like to read fiction and non-fiction alike. I have the resources to read both (library, amazon gift cards, etc)… One of each per week is easily doable, one of each every two weeks is more likely… I picked up “Emperor: The Gates of Rome” from the library… five chapters in and i’m not impressed with the writing. I’ll give it one more night before I try something else b/c I dig historical fiction and the Roman era. But, as far as Non-Fiction goes… not sure, going to browse through Amazon.com today to determine what to use my Birthday gift card on. Something that isn’t at the library…

4) Fatherhood and Husbandry: Family Bible times, weekly walks with the girls, meaningful conversations, and quality entertainment (dates, family movie nights, etc.). I can’t ignore my number one responsibility no matter how often the XBox calls my name (yes i have it back… well, they sent me a new one, but its back).

There are others (house work, finding a church), but i think thats a good start… if i pack my docket with too much, i’ll just give up and play soccer on the 360 all the time.

So keep me to it…

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Category : Church, Current Events, Eh... Whatever, Empyreal, Family, Fatness, Friends

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Well… here we are… we timed the driving perfect, arriving in the Dallas area right at 5:00 PM on a friday evening, signifying a return to city life. I learned a few things on the drive home that I would like to share with you:

1) When I’m prepared for mountainous/curvy/roller-coaster-esque driving, I do not let nervousness set in. When it came upon me on the drive up, since I wasn’t expecting it and was not used to the Pilot’s handling, I did not enjoy the scenery as I was too focused on the road… today, knowing what I was up against, there were no nerves and I was able to take in the wonderful views despite the pouring rain.

2) Barbie Fun Sparkleberry Poptarts look just as fruity and appetizing after they’ve been half digested and regurgitated into the car. The aforementioned back-roads highways caused nausea in my eight year old… unfortunately Gas stations are few and far between… so the third thing I learned is…

3) When your eight year old says “my stomach hurts and I feel sick”… don’t ask “can you make it another 10 minutes?” … because even though they may venture to try, it is only about 3 minutes later that you hear the upheaval taking place. I’m the parent… i should take the initiative.

4) Speaking of eight yr olds and (un)natural bodily functions… Her “toots” could kill a horse… they almost knocked us out… several times…

5) Its amazing how much fun you can have with city names in Oklahoma… Imagine all the different ways and voices you can use to say “Eufaula” … try chanting it repetitively in your best stereo-typical native American voice… its a blast.

and finally

6) Texas drivers really ARE that bad. I had no problems in MO, AR, or OK… I’d cruise along at two or three miles over speed limit and leave most people in my dust… On the crazy Ozark roads i’d slow down to a pace the locals probably thought was cumbersome, but they refrained from tailing me, flashing me, or honking at me… as soon as i cross the Red River… WOW… you’d think 70 MPH was for the Sr. Citizens.

So, there you have it… Go and face the world.

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Category : Family, Vacation

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